Is her boyfriend really cute and, second, does he like redheads?”ĭisney: “No! That”s not the point. While all of you were very brave, your narratives followed a romantic arc which the modern teenage heroine has no need for.”Īriel: “Two-part question. Jasmine: “What kind of princess name is that?”ĭisney: “She”s the powerful archer in “The Hunger Games” who risks everything to save her little sister and her community. Didn”t any of you read “The Hunger Games”?Īriel: “I”m really more of a Nicholas Sparks kinda girl …”ĭisney: “The new heroine has to be able to shoot a bow and arrow, just like Catniss Everdeen.” Please don”t make me go there.”ĭisney: “No! Not an R rating! I”m talking about archery! This movie has archery!”ĭisney: “Archery is the new way to show that young women are strong and smart.
Mulan: “My lover was voiced by Donny Osmond. It was I who was the rebellious daughter of royalty who managed to find romance with Aladdin and, uh, fight the forces of evil … Obvi, we don”t need another movie about the same old thing.”ĭisney: “I hear you, ladies, and yes, you were all undeniably headstrong teenage girls born of royalty with a penchant for world-saving but this new movie has something you didn”t have.” Oh, yeah, and fight the forces of evil in the form of Ursula the Sea Witch.” My dad was King Triton, capiche? I was totes headstrong and disappeared to chase Handsome McHotness from land.
I did all that brave stuff and I did it under water. But I guess everybody”s forgotten how I stole my famous warrior daddy”s sword, fought off the Huns, disguised myself a as a dude and yadda yadda yadda …”Īriel: “Yeah, right. Mulan: “Uh, well, I was a headstrong teenager who, like, saved freakin” China. Movie about a headstrong teenage girl of royal upbringing who fights the forces of evil. It”s easy to “imagineer” the table read for Disney Pixar”s brand-new animated girl-power movie, “Brave.”ĭisney suit: “OK, what”ve we got here? Hmmm.
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